Wowwww, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Well, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth but I have been in a self-imposed exile. I only interrupted this for my 30th (yes, I hit the big 3-0…) birthday and a concert of my absolute no.1 band the Cure.
Both were unforgettable days! I spent my birthday with some of my closest friends in a tapas restaurant and we had a great evening. I had seen the Cure live 4 years ago when they played a 3,5!!! hour set. It felt like a 3,5 hour long dream and I wanted it to last forever. I cannot even begin to explain how much their music means to me and how much their music has helped me throughout the years. So seeing them live again was a treat! They played at a festival and were scheduled to play for about 1,5 hours. However, they started about 15 minutes early and finish almost 45 minutes late. Giving us a 2,5 hour set. I was over the moon! What a lovely break from stress that was!
So why have I been in exile? For the past month or so I have been working pretty much non-stop to finish my master thesis and as the deadline approaches my stress-level is rising. All I keep thinking is almost done, almost done, just a couple thousand more words 
The problem is, I’m too much of a perfectionist when it comes to my work, I double check everything and doubt myself constantly. Another problem that occurred during my process of writing was having a supervisor that, let’s put this nicely, was not that much involved with my work… Furthermore, she gave me bad advise causing me to doubt my working-method altogether. Suddenly something I have been doing for the past 6 years was wrong. My style of writing was wrong, my approach was wrong and she basically asked me to change everything I had learned for the past years.
I took a year off to over-think everything and finally decided that I needed someone else to supervise me, someone who would help me instead of making me doubt myself. After some struggle I finally managed to get a different supervisor and I could continue my work.
I’m really drained at the moment and it takes every bit of energy to keep going. Just one more week and I have to hand in my first draft. Fingers crossed it will be good enough and that I don’t have to edit too much!
Ahhh, just look at all those books! It drives me insane Fortunately I have my little penguin friend to keep me motivated.
Wish me luck right now, I could use all the positive energy you can send me!
Love M.
