Wowwww, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Well, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth but I have been in a self-imposed exile. I only interrupted this for my 30th (yes, I hit the big 3-0…) birthday and a concert of my absolute no.1 band the Cure.
Both were unforgettable days! I spent my birthday with some of my closest friends in a tapas restaurant (Que Pasa in Zaandam, I highly recommend it, awesome food and super friendly staff!) and we had a great evening.
I had seen the Cure live 4 years ago when they played a 3,5!!! hour set. It felt like a 3,5 hour long dream and I wanted it to last forever. I cannot even begin to explain how much their music means to me and how much their music has helped me throughout the years. Especially during my journeys across Europe, I listened to them for hours. So seeing them live again was a treat! They played at a festival and were scheduled to play for about 1,5 hours. However, they started about 15 minutes early and finished almost 45 minutes late. Giving us a 2,5 hour set. I was over the moon! What a lovely break from stress that was!
So why have I been in exile? For the past month or so I have been working pretty much non-stop to finish my master thesis and as the deadline approaches my stress-level is rising. All I keep thinking is almost done, almost done, just a couple thousand more words 😀
The problem is, I’m too much of a perfectionist when it comes to my work, I double check everything and doubt myself constantly. Another problem that occurred during my process of writing was having a supervisor that, let’s put this nicely, was not that much involved with my work… Furthermore, she gave me bad advise causing me to doubt my working-method altogether. Suddenly something I have been doing for the past 6 years was wrong. My style of writing was wrong, my approach was wrong and she basically asked me to change everything I had learned for the past years.
I took some time off, went to England (where I always feel at peace) to over-think everything and finally decided that I needed someone else to supervise me, someone who would help me instead of making me doubt myself. After some struggling I finally managed to get a different supervisor and I could continue my work. He was brilliant in getting me back on track and now it is finally almost done.
I’m really drained at the moment and it takes every bit of energy to keep going. Just one more week and I have to hand in my first draft. Fingers crossed it will be good enough and that I don’t have to edit too much!
Ahhh, just look at all those books! It drives me insane 😀 Fortunately I have my little penguin friend to keep me motivated.
Wish me luck right now, I could use all the positive energy you can send me!